Gag With Me

Just saw this joke by swoosher7797-----------------------------------My girlfriend isn't the brightest spark. I spent an hour explaining a legendary Sickipedia joke to her and she still didn't get it.So I got 8 mates over and we really explained it to her.Now she understands.------------------------------------You took her appendix out?

I asked my wife where was my dinner..... She went on a right one, screaming that if I gave her a hand it would be done quicker... so I gave her a hand......... a right one........ I'm still waiting for my dinner and she seems to be having a kip on the kitchen floor. On the positive side she's gone all quiet now.....

My Ex-Wife claims that when I have the kids for their monthly visit I just spoil them and throw money at them.You want the see the bruise a 50p coin can make between ones eyes if executed correctly from 2 metres.

A naughty child was irritating all the passengers on the flight from London to New York. At last one man could stand it no longer. "Hey kid," he shouted. "Why don't you go outside and play?"

Boss: "I can assure you that the value of the  average employee will continue to increase." Employee: "That's because there will be fewer of us doing more work, right?"  Boss: "Right. Except for the 'us' part."

A librarian was quietly working when three chickens walked in and jumped on to the counter eyed her and said "BUK BUK  BUK" Not sure she was sane she gave the chikens three books and they left. An hour later in walked the chickens again jumped onto the counter, returned the books they had taken earlier and said "BUK BUK BUK" Now convinced she was out of her mind she gave them three books, they took one each and left. This time she decided to follow them. She followed them down to the local pond and stood horrified as they threw the books into the water. All of a sudden they flew back out of the pond and a frog stuck it's head up saying "RREDIT RREDIT RREDIT!"

My girlfriend got annoyed at me today when I took my pint from the front room and left a ring on the table...I happened to think it was quite a nice way to propose.