Gag With Me

Two goldfish are swimming around their bowl discussing some of life's important issues.One goldfish says to the other, "Do you believe in God?""Of course, I do!" his pal says. "Who do you think changes the water?"

A tornado walks into a bar and orders a  Hurricane. The bartender asks why he is ordering a Hurricane when he is a  tornado. The tornado responds with, "I am a hurricane induced  tornado".

Juggler, driving to his next performance, was stopped by the police. "What are those knives doing in your  car?" asked the officer.  "I juggle them in my act."  "Oh yeah?" says the cop. "Let's see you do it." So the juggler starts tossing and juggling the knives.  A guy driving by sees this and says, "Wow, am I glad I quit drinking. Look at the test they're making you do now!"

A doctor had been attending a rich old man for some time, but it became apparent that the old chap had not long to live.  Accordingly, the doctor advised his wealthy patient to put his affairs in order.  "Oh yes, I've done that," said the old gentleman.  "I've only got to make a will. And do you know what I'm going to do with all my money? I'm going to leave it to the doctor who saves my life."

Yesterday I drugged some birds of prey and plucked them, I was just about to put the feathers in the back of my van when I was caught by the police and they arrested me for ill eagle down loading.

My wife loves to go on top.However, in light of certain recent events, I've told her it's probably best to travel to work inside the train from now on.