My mum always told me, "Never do something that you'll regret later in life."I always thought that it was great advice. So I got it tattooed on my forehead.
Police: How did your wife get that mark on her forehead?Husband: She fell down the stairs.Police: But you live in a bungalow.Husband: Yeah but she lives in the cellar.
My wife asked me to pick her up after work last night.Apparently, me driving by her office slowly and asking her "How much for a blowie?" was not what she meant.
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