When Kate Middleton visited Liverpool, she was shown round a bar with no alcohol. She then moved on to see houses with no windows and cars with no wheels.
Police: How did your wife get that mark on her forehead?Husband: She fell down the stairs.Police: But you live in a bungalow.Husband: Yeah but she lives in the cellar.
An Amish woman is driving her horse and buggy down the road when she gets pulled over. "You have a broken reflector on your buggy," says the cop. "But, more important, one of your reins is looped around that part of the horse that I can't mention. Nevertheless, that's cruelty to animals. Have your husband take care of that right away." Later that day, the woman tells her husband: "A policeman pulled me over today for two reasons. First, he said the reflector was broken." "Well, that's easily fixed," says her husband. "What else?" "I'm not sure," she says. "Something about the emergency brake."
My wife asked me to pick her up after work last night.Apparently, me driving by her office slowly and asking her "How much for a blowie?" was not what she meant.
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