Last night Cheryl Cole told an X-Factor contestant they were "right up her street." Bet the bloke who she said it to was thinking he'd rather be right up her alley.
Police: How did your wife get that mark on her forehead?Husband: She fell down the stairs.Police: But you live in a bungalow.Husband: Yeah but she lives in the cellar.
My wife asked me to pick her up after work last night.Apparently, me driving by her office slowly and asking her "How much for a blowie?" was not what she meant.
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